It has been a week of odd happenings and bizarre revelations. In summary:
I was headed into Wal-Mart to buy a loaf of bread (leave me alone, Columbia County is a food desert… No, seriously, somebody from the Health District called it that last night) and I saw a 10-year-old boy in a Tae-Kwon-Do uniform standing outside with his dad and they were BOTH smoking!
Has that thing ever happened to you where two people look so much alike that you go for a super-longass time thinking they are the same person and then one day you suddenly figure out that they are, in fact, two different people and it is totally freaky for a minute and your brain hurts from trying to get around it and you are complete embarrassed and overcome with trying to figure out if they ever noticed your error? That happened to me twice this week! And one of the sets of people was a “person” I “knew” for two years in grad school!!
Have you noticed: Lady GaGa is essentially gunning to become David Bowie? She is female, and so I think the fact that she is ripping him off at every turn goes largely unnoticed. But SERIOUSLY!! Look!!!!!!
Ok, that’s kind of a bad example, but my Internet is slow and I’m tired of looking for a better one. Besides, don’t you just instantly know what I mean? I can respect highly conceptualized art. I can even get down with batshit. But he just rocks it so much harder that, for me, there will never be a true comparison.
I had a minor smoking relapse (Yeah, I know, but I’m back on the wagon so drop it!) and so was forced to go back on the patch. But the only patches I had around were the 14-MG ones from back in my real smoker days and so I slapped one of those on yesterday afternoon and was completely tweaked out from being over-nicotined all day and then when I went to sleep last night I had the WILDEST dreams ever. Seriously epic and so vivid it was sort of annoying because they kept waking me up due to their intensity and they were so darned intricate and interesting that I had to stay up in between each dream to ponder the meaning. Seriously. An elaborate cast of characters showed up to entertain me, from dead grandparents to Columbia County commissioners to secret penmigos (you know who you are! Shout-outt!) And there were evil bad guys and gangs of wild ghost horses and huge white cathedrals and, well, the Nicotine patch is AWESOME! But also sort of gross and weird and plus it makes you nauseated so nevermind, actually, it is less than awesome. But better than nasty ciggys!
I went to the acupuncturist and—ooops—he forgot to take out one of the needles and I found it in my leg a few hours later.
I got a raise!
I got attacked by this huge, snarling black dog outside my apartment building and all my old dog-panic came back and I screamed at the top of my lungs and managed to run back inside and slam the door shut just as the nasty creature was trying to run in after me. And I was tearful and hyperventilating and, well, it’s great to know that if I let out a blood curdling scream, not a ONE of my neighbors will be so much as opening their doors to see if I’m OK. Really, thanks guys.
I got a gift set of Penzy’s Spices and they are everything I dreamed they would be.
That’s all I can think of. So, yeah. Crazy week.
Post Script: I drank a uuuuuuuuu-noooooorrrr-mous cup of coffee today. Can you tell?