please give me back my keys please

OK so I woke up this morning with a title for a book in my head: “Please give me back my keys please.”

I’m not sure where it came from. Probably just a dream fragment … I’ve begun a course of herbs to help with my inveterate insomnia – nothing stiff, just some amber and salvia – and I’m finding that it gives me crazy nighttime visions. Last night, I was wandering the beaches and pueblos of of El Salvador. So serene. But alas.

I opened my eyes to this cold, sunny Sunday morning with the phrase on my lips and I felt a renewed determination to publish that long-discussed book of personal essays. I have a lot of entertaining stories to share from my adventures abroad, but one thing that concerns me is that I tend to wax a little heavy. It’s always sort of bothered me because I consider myself a decently upshot person and I love to laugh. But I don’t think you’d guess that from reading a lot of my writing.

I suppose this world is a ponderous place, hey? And I can get down with that truth. Still, though, I’d just rather be making people smile than bombing them with depressing meditations on Why Life Sucks cause in the end it don’t change a damned thing.

George Orwell one suggested that “to achieve style, begin by affecting none.” All well and good, but I still wish I were funnier. Or, better put, I wish I were more able to find the humor in all of my life’s misadventures and not just the bitter, or the bittersweet. Shit’s funny, right? Really, you do have to laugh at the way some cards eventually land.

Conversely, I suspect that my dreamtime inspiration, “Please give me back my keys please,” is a throwback to a nasty experience I had getting beat up by a gang of fat, drunk men in Greece a few years ago. At least on a subconscious level, because part of the scuffle involved one of said Fat Greek Dudes stealing my hotel janglys and me threatening to kill him for it. No, really. I threatened to kill him. And I soooo meant it. Is that funny? Could it be?

This is what I’m thinking about today.